After the other day's blug, like a blog but more blubby, i'm back.
I think i'm just starting to get my head around the fact it's not just The Cancer, it's the menopause (albeit temporarily) and the joys of hot flushes and PMT on speed.
At times it can feel overwhelming, particularly with the extra expense being sick brings, and pretty much as though I must have done something really, really, really bad for all this, all at the same time.
I think at times i've been a bit guilty, especially of late, of accepting it all as something I deserve and i have accepted it all. Unquestioningly. Until today.
you're not taking me and you can tell your friend bankruptcy to do one too. As soon as I am back home, i'm going to beat both of you into submission. Yes, I can't work right now. Not for someone else.. .but i'm pretty certain I can fit some freelancing in and I intend to. I refuse to accept either of you for the girls and me. No more looking at the past and feeling sad, no more looking at the present and feeling frustrated. It's time to start living as though tomorrow and the days beyond it are still a certainty and putting in measures for a happy life because you can never move on properly without first letting everything go. *Except your inhibitions and your knicker elastic in polite company. Both of these absolutely must be retained at all times.
It's time to move forward, to make some big decisions and proactively create the future.
For a moment there, I mistakenly thought I was like Sampson and all my power was in my hair. Thankfully not.