There's been times since The Cancer 'made itself known ' (anyone else now thinking of Paddy Mcguiness? ) that I've been a bit of a mood hoover. No one likes an emotional dementor, least of all me. I do that very British thing when I cry of saying sorry, waving my hands in front of my face like I'm on fire and doing half gurning sobs as I try to laugh at myself, throwing in a few more 'sorry's' for posterity.
Well, tonight my friends I'm doing something I haven't since before I was diagnosed - I'm treating myself to a glass of red wine. Up until now I've abstained for my health but with all the 'one more' crisps, 'oh go on then' biscuits and 'many more cups than I should' teas I think one or two glasses of wine isn't going to hurt.
Plus Pam's gone and I'm not sure if she's coming back. I know I'm getting close to the point of wanting to be with her all the time and she's just too laid back to get so attached. I think we need a break.
With that in mind I had coffee with an amazing friend this afternoon who is so good at helping me come to terms with my mouldy boob, understand it's not some punishment from the Almighty and all the time making me laugh.
The post came and with it were half a dozen dictated letters regarding all the appointments I've been having. Lots of medical talk but nothing I didn't already know. I decided when I started writing not to go into the details too much because I'm not medically trained and may explain things poorly and also if another sufferer of the old BC stumbles across this blog, I don't want to overwhelm them with the sciencey bit, mostly because there are many different types , stages, grades , treatments and prognoses. If that description fits you- only take the word of your team, not the Internet. Even the 'proper sites' offer only generic advice. Make this about you specifically and hurry up and get well.
The girls and I are up earlyish in the morning to catch the Santa Train and meet the stars of the panto, all thanks to the miraculous Pickering Drop -in Centre. Photos to follow!