I spend so much time within a square mile radius of my home, it was easy to forget why my friend and I were driving out of Tunbridge Wells and just enjoy looking out the car window. I miss the freedom of driving and because the girls and I haven't lived in Kent long, so much of it remains unexplored.
We got to the hospital in Maidstone early and while we sat having a coffee, I received a call from Guys Hospital with the results of my gene test. No gene mutation. This means I won't need all the preventative surgery first discussed (double mastectomy, hysterectomy, overy removal) and will hopefully only need the lump removed providing it shrinks enough with chemo. I'll have annual screenings until I reach fifty. It didn't escape me that we're talking about me making it to fifty -my girls will be in their twenties. Never has a mum relished the idea so much of getting old!
Shortly after I went in to meet my Oncologist who was astounded I had my gene results so quickly.
I have a type of breast cancer ( there are many different types and each behaves differently and needs different treatment ) which is called triple negative. Hormone treatments aren't an option and chemo, surgery and radiotherapy are the only ways of dealing with it. You would expect some one of my age with this type of cancer to have a gene mutation and the fact I haven't means it's freak bad luck I got ill.
So, chemo begins before Christmas but no dates as yet. By the way, Richard Fairbrass of Right Said Fred has to be on the calendar....
My toxtail of choice - a winning combination called FEC-T. Or Feck It as I will refer to it forever more.
I get three rounds of FEC , saucy, and then a further three rounds of T, sophisticated.
Apparently the T is the hard slog but we're talking about living to at least fifty. I'll take it thanks.
Plus, to stave off early menopause I get monthly injections throughout chemo which put my ovaries into hibernation, much like the Blue Peter tortoise.
Then, and here's for me the exciting bit, they should effectively start working again once I'm recovered. If I had my way I would have my house so full of children, you'd find them all over the place. A chaotic, jammy, real love home and while divorce could have made me bitter and cynical, instead I hope that one day there might be a love story for me and at least one more snuggly little baby. It might not happen but what absolute bliss to be able to dream of what could be.